I chastised myself that I was being controlling. Although a certain amount of curiosity is natural and we all indulge in daydreams about our future children, the fewer assumptions we make before the baby comes along, the better. In fact, it was the cause of much marital strife six years ago when we had our first child, because I wanted to know the sex and my wife didn't. And I feel that expectant people fall into two tribes. I began to enjoy the ladies at the grocers guessing my baby's gender from the shape of the bump or the opinions of close friends about whether I was a boy or girl creator the consensus?
But I do know that I'm a little bit nosey, a big bit impatient and, after a childhood spent with my head buried in books, overwhelmingly a dreamer. But my wife told me she kept pushing steadily through the pain in large part because she was so motivated to finally find out the sex of the baby. Simply put, I thought she was full of shit. Those in the want-to-know camp argue that knowing the sex makes name-choosing and bonding easier. It Pisses People Off I've written about this before but it bears repeating. I've heard people compare it to peeking at your presents before Christmas Day and then having nothing to look forward to. The week scan is, after all, an "anomaly scan", designed to pick up serious structural abnormalities, a fact that can get lost in all the excitement about finding out the baby's sex. We've even had people tell us we are wrong and that we're ridiculous for not finding out. Asked to perform, our baby basically mooned at us. On hearing that her grandchild had kept its legs in a tight ball during the scan, my Mum teased: Not because I had a preference for a girl — I didn't, and had been happily certain it would be a boy — but because it was the point at which this mysterious being that I had carried for nine months suddenly became a real person. People say if you're "carrying high" it's a girl, and low means boy. But the whole experience of pregnancy and childbirth has become so medicalised and closely monitored that I find myself clinging gratefully to this last little pocket of mystery. If people knew we were having another boy it'd be "Oh man, MJ is gonna be so outnumbered" and "Oh For me, the decision was never just about saving up the surprise for the big day. We didn't find out. For increasing numbers of parents, this moment comes at the week scan. Finding out right then and there in the moment was absolutely fantastic. By not finding out the sex, you effectively force people to think at least a little bit outside the box and consider things that are gender neutral. They ask MJ what foods she's been craving and if she mentions something sweet, they automatically say girl while sour equals boy. Although a certain amount of curiosity is natural and we all indulge in daydreams about our future children, the fewer assumptions we make before the baby comes along, the better. A couple of early scans, which flagged up possible problems with the pregnancy unfounded as it turned out , also served as a wake-up call that there were bigger things to worry about than which colour to paint the nursery. It's really quite interesting to hear the theories bandied about by these baby soothsayers, which all seem to have been handed down by grandparents and great-grandparents and are NEVER wrong. We just wanted to be able to imagine our little family in one, five, 10 years' time and instinctively felt that would be easier knowing the baby's sex. I was grateful to get a shot at motherhood at all.
Video about should we find out the sex of our baby:
FINDING OUT THE GENDER / SEX OF OUR BABY
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